


your heart's a mess

by tuesdead



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, More Hurt Than Comfort, Naruto is MIA and declared dead, cursing, goodbye letters, kakashi curses a lot, never mind i lied its really sad sorry, this isn't as sad as it sounds i promise, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesdead/pseuds/tuesdead
Summary: When a shinobi becomes a jounin, he or she is required to write a letter to their loved ones. This helps the grieving process and allows said shinobi to say their goodbyes.Naruto wrote ten letters and left nine of them with Tsunade.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 65
Kudos: 413





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BLUKWolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLUKWolf/gifts), [Sadistcutey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadistcutey/gifts).



> <3
> 
> title taken from gotye’s Hearts A Mess, I recommend listening to the song for letter number 10

_your heart’s a mess_

**no. 1 - Sakura**

_You shouldn’t worry so much._

_I know, I know. I’m just your idiot teammate who went and got himself killed, right? After all, that’s the only way you could be reading this letter right now._

_It’s okay, you know. The life of a shinobi is typically short. And anyway, I managed to make most of my dreams come true, despite the odds. So really, there’s nothing to be sad about! I lived a really good life, especially after becoming a part of team seven and finding people precious to me!_

_And of course, I want you to know that you’re one of them! So take care of yourself! You’re the one who has to keep Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke and Sai and Yamato-taicho healthy!_

_I guess I want to thank you, too. When I think back to the hopeless crush I used to have on you, I’m honestly thankful you never felt the same way. Besides, you’re like my sister! Now that I know what it means to be in love, I know I never really felt that way for you, so you’re probably relieved about that, huh?_

_Do me a favor and smack Sasuke for me, okay? Somebody has to do it now that I’m not around._

_I don’t want to see any of you for a long time, do you hear me? Take care of the village for me._

[Sakura doesn’t cry. For the last several years, she’s taken her strength from Naruto, relying on him to be there to help her stand. He’s been missing in action for three months, and Sakura hasn’t had time to lean on anybody--their friends have all been leaning on her. She can’t very well let him down now, not now that he’s… _gone_.]

**no. 2 - Sasuke**

_Bastard!_

_Don’t worry, I’m not going to wax poetic at you or anything--that’s not how we communicate!_

_You understand, right?_

_Look out for everybody for me, will you? Stay safe._

[Sasuke cries when he reads his letter, bracing himself against the wall of his kitchen with his fist in his mouth to keep his sobs from escaping. _Idiot_ , he thinks, and cries a little harder.]

**no. 3 - Konohamaru**

_I need you to promise me something. Don't ever give up. When you're staring down an opponent so powerful you feel like there's no way you can win, stand your ground and keep fighting. No matter how many times you fall down, keep going._

_There will come a time when someone will try to make you question your morals, make you question the things you fight for. There will come a time when you have to reevaluate your stance on certain things._

_Always believe in yourself, Konohamaru. There may come a time when everybody else will doubt you, doubt the village, doubt everything. So you'll have to stand tall and hold them up._

_You're the best little brother I could have asked for, and I sincerely hope that you won't find me in the Pure Lands for a long time. There's only one exception to the rule, and it's really better if you ask Lee what that is._

_Take care of our family._

[Konohamaru smiles through his tears. His brother figure may be gone, but his heart lives on in all the people he's leaving behind. He's going to miss the man, but they're ninja. They've each received letters like this before. Konohamaru wipes his tears, placing his most recent letter into the old shoebox along with his parents', the Sandaime's, and Uncle Asuma's.]

**no. 4 - Hinata**

_Hinata,_

_If I could shoulder all of the pain and hatred in the world, I would do it. If I was a different man, I would be so in love with you that it would physically hurt. As it is, I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you deserve. I'm sorry that I will only ever see you as a friend. Overall, I'm sorry for any pain I've caused you._

_I hope you'll forgive me for loving him._

_Take care of the boys for me. They may hate admitting to it, but they really do need you. Hold fast to your strength. You're brilliant._

[Hinata takes three days to mourn her lifelong friend and the man she loved. Three days, and then she tucks the letter away and holds her head high. _Of course_ she can forgive him for loving that man. She was never upset about it in the first place. All she wanted was for him to find happiness.]

**no. 5 - Teuchi & Ayame**

_I just want to start this off by saying thank you. Thank you for taking care of me all these years, for being my first family, and offering me a warm meal when I was half-starved._

_I will never ever forget how much kindness you've shown me._

_And Ayame! Take care of the old man for me! He doesn't want to admit it, but his back is starting to trouble him a lot._

_There aren't enough people like you two in the world, so stick around for awhile._

[Ayame keeps the restaurant open. Her father had asked her, in the softest tone she's ever heard, if she was sure she wanted to work. She thinks of Naruto's letter and gives her father a smile, telling him to take the night off.]

**no. 6 - Lee**

_Bushy brow! If you're reading this letter, it means that I'm dead. The handful of letters I'm writing are to my most important people, in order from least to most important. (If you tell Sakura that's why she's receiving the first letter, I_ **_will_ ** _come back to haunt you.) The reason I'm telling you this is because I have a favor to ask. There's one more letter that I didn't leave with Tsunade-baachan._

_I'm asking you to do this because I trust you more than anybody else to keep this a secret and be supportive. Anyone else would have something to say, either about me or to Kakashi._

_But you get me. I would trust you to the ends of the earth, and your enthusiasm never ceases to boost my own._

_The truth is this: we have mutual feelings, but Kakashi asked if we could stay friends and nothing more. I never really stopped hoping for more, but Kakashi has to make his own decisions._

_Anyway, I’m only asking if you’ll get his letter to him for me. I didn’t give it to baa-chan because I didn’t want anybody else trying to read it. Shizune-nii and baa-chan are horrible gossips, you know._

_Lee, you’re one of the most talented shinobi I’ve ever known, and I’m so, so proud to have been able to call you my comrade, and my friend._

_P.S. the letter is taped into the very top of my ramen cupboard! Please make sure you place it directly into Kakashi’s hands!_

_-Konoha’s Orange Beast!!!_

[Lee’s tears pour before he even opens his letter, only becoming torrential by the time he actually _reads_ it. Naruto trusts him this much? Ah, but he shouldn’t question his friend’s trust, only continue to earn it! Lee has an immense respect for somebody whose Youth continues on after their demise! Of course he will deliver Kakashi-sensei’s letter safely!]

**no. 7 - Shikamaru**

_Oi, I was wondering…_

_Did I ever tell you? You’re my best friend, Shikamaru. Sometimes, we don’t always get to say the things we need to, and we lose our chance._

_I couldn’t take that risk._

_This may not be a letter you ever wanted to receive, or ever expected to. Most people would think Sasuke-teme is my best friend, you know? But most people don’t know me the way you do._

_Konoha needs you, Shika. She needs your mind, so stay sharp and stay alive._

_And make sure Choji doesn’t get an ulcer._

_You’re a good man, Shika. I’m so glad to have been friends with you._

[Shikamaru slams his fist down on the desk in front of him, wood groaning at the impact. He _hates_ this. Naruto isn’t supposed to be dead, he _can’t_ be! He’s their future Hokage! He’s the best of them, the village hero! _Damn it!_ ]

**no. 8 - Neji**

_Neji,_

_I want you to make a promise. Not to me, but to yourself. Can you do that? Can you promise that you won’t hide from your feelings anymore? I know how scary it can be. I know shinobi are meant to bury their feelings._

_But you know something? All the best shinobi have something--someone--worth protecting. And how can you ever be your best if you can’t admit that you have somebody you want to protect?_

_You may not see it, but she loves you. She loves you in a way she’s never loved me, and I couldn’t have returned her feelings either way. You should tell her._

_I want you to be smiling the next time I see you, you hear?_

_You’re a splendid ninja, and a valued friend. Thank you for being one of the first to accept me._

[Neji is silent in his grief. Silent and unwavering, hours passing though he barely bats an eye. By the time he leaves his home, he has read Naruto’s letter to the point of memorization, wanting to keep those words with him, always. His friend’s name will be carved into the memorial stone like countless others before him, but Neji doesn’t think that’s enough. Nothing would ever be enough. Maybe not even if he’d managed to get his face carved into the Hokage Monument. His friend has influenced the lives and opinions of every single person in their village, and many of the shinobi all over the world. _Not enough._ He helped change Neji’s heart.]

**no. 9 - Iruka**

_I’m sorry I’m not getting to tell you any of this in person. I know what you’re thinking, too. “Naruto’s too young. There are too many things he hasn’t experienced. He had his whole life ahead of him.” Something like that, right?_

_Iruka-sensei. I have so many people to thank for making me the man I am today, and you’re at the very top of that list. You were the first teacher who ever tried to teach me something, the first man who recognized the pain in my heart, and the first friend I ever made. Jiji was a busy man, but he was still like a grandfather to me. He did his best._

_You did a lot better. You became a father figure, my big brother, my rock through hard times. I know it took you a long time to understand that we both lost our parents the night Obito released Kurama and attacked the village, but you did. You were one of the first to overlook your disgust to recognize me for what I was--an annoying twerp._

_Thank you. Eat a bowl of Ichiraku for me, okay?_

[Iruka sits on the old swing in the Academy yard, heartbroken and aching. Naruto--his brother… He just doesn’t understand how they can declare his death when they haven’t even found a body! And _Hatake_ , the _Rokudaime-_ He doesn’t want to accept it. The minute Naruto had been declared missing, his teammates returning looking haggard and defeated, all of them dealing with chakra exhaustion on top of extensive injuries, the Rokudaime Hokage had all but foisted his job onto his assistants to aid in the search. And he hadn’t found _anything_ . Not a single trace of a scent. Even the Inuzuka hounds couldn’t pick up a _hint_ of Naruto. _He can’t just be gone._ His tears fall, but Iruka can’t let himself crumble. Naruto wouldn’t want it.]

**no. 10 - Kakashi**

_I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it back, Hokage-sama. I know it’s one of your worst fears. And I’m sorry for adding to the list of loved ones you’ve lost. It was already too long as it was._

_But shinobi endure, don’t we?_

_You only told me you loved me once, and then you did your best to bury that moment and asked me to move on even though you know I feel the same way. I won’t apologize for loving you, though, Kakashi. And I won’t apologize for never moving on. Did you think I had after our conversation three years ago? A part of me hopes I backed off enough, held back enough to give you the space you asked me for._

_The rest of me hopes I did a horrible job of stepping back. You deserve to be loved, Kakashi, and I will continue to love you even after I am dead. I hope that you received the love I tried to give you even though you didn’t want to. Even though it scared you._

_You’re strong, Kakashi, so I hope I won’t see you in the Pure Lands for a long time coming. Still, Rokudaime. If I do, I hope you’ll be a little more flexible on the whole relationship thing. I don’t mind waiting, you know. Take all the time you need._

_Because you have my heart, Kakashi, and it’s gonna be yours for the rest of forever._

_All my love,_

_Naruto_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s a real piece of shit, making an executive decision like that. Maybe he’d been trying to keep himself from ruining that man, but…
> 
> But maybe it wasn’t like that. Maybe, with Naruto… Maybe Kakashi could have been saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will have 3 chapters instead of 1. :)
> 
> angst ahead! you have been warned!!!
> 
> !!!! this has not been proofread! when the entire work is complete, i'll come back and fix mistakes! ciao!

Kakashi really has been trying to keep a level head. The moment the other shinobi from Naruto’s current unit had returned, he’d known something was very wrong, but it was the way none of them would meet his eyes… In the end, Shikamaru was the one who finally plucked up the guts to ask where their blond friend was, and… none of them had known.

They hadn’t _known._ _He just vanished_ , they said, and _we were ambushed before we could even properly track him down_.

By the time they’d dealt with their attackers, Naruto was gone. There wasn’t even a trail they could follow.

He’d shared one look with Shikamaru, a silent conversation, and the man had shrugged. “I’m not a tracker, _you_ should go.”

But even Kakashi and his ninken couldn’t pick up Naruto’s scent, and he’s their… He’s part of…

When he dragged himself back to the village, a part of him hoped the blond would somehow be home, safe and sound, but even in his current state of exhaustion he had enough higher functioning to know it was nothing more than a silly dream.

Thus is the life of shinobi.

Still, Naruto is _missing,_ not _dead_ , so _who gave the order to declare such a thing_? Kakashi certainly hadn’t, and yet…

Three months is a long time to hope.

 _The people are mourning_.

Things have been eerily quiet across the Great Nations. Many of the Kage are fond of Naruto, and the man has friends in every single place he’s ever been.

If none of the other villages have seen… If their contacts all over the world can’t help… If Kakashi himself couldn’t find Naruto, then… what hope is left?

But that’s his- his friend. His former student, his teammate, his successor, his… Just _his_. Naruto is _his_ and _somebody, somewhere will_ ** _pay_** _for this if I have to pass on the hat and abandon-_

His fist slams against the wall in his living room, putting a hole in the drywall. His chest constricts, his arm swings back, and then forward again, _again, AGAIN._ It’s not _possible_ , Naruto is the best of them, their _hero_ , precious! He _can’t-_

_-breathe! He can't breathe--_

Kakashi chokes on a sob, crumbling to the floor without so much as _attempting_ to catch himself on anything. What’s the point? His whole body aches, ears ringing and teeth sensitive. Every inch of his skin is crawling with the need to be _anywhere, anywhere but here_ , because there’s _too many memories_ -

 _Maybe...maybe,_ he thinks, rocking back and forth with his arms slung around his knees, _maybe he’s just hiding from something. Maybe he’s trying not to put anybody in danger. Maybe, just maybe, he’s still out there._

-

He wakes up numb. His body is numb, knuckles bloody, breath unsteady. But his eyes are dry, along with his mouth, his throat…

The world suddenly feels too empty.

_He’s dead. If the council assumes he’s dead, there’s nothing I can do. And I-_

_I couldn’t even save the man I loved._

He’s not surprised when he isn’t summoned to receive a letter. Maybe Naruto hadn’t known what to say to him, or maybe he’d moved on like Kakashi had asked him to (though the thought brings an ice-cold edge to the heaviness in his limbs, leaves him breathless). Maybe he thought Kakashi would be okay without one.

Instead he feels bitter and empty, like somebody had removed all of his organs while he'd been passed out on the floor. Maybe he's dead, too.

Still, the loud, enthusiastic knocking on his door does something to him, breaking apart the ice in his veins and pulling him toward the entryway even though he’d resolved himself to hiding away for a few days before returning to his duties.

He finds Lee on his front step, rivers of tears trailing down his cheeks. It's not that much of a shock. He and Naruto have trained with Gai's former team more times than Kakashi could keep track of.

He is, however, dumbfounded by the thick, cream colored envelope that Lee places in his hand. “I am Very Sorry for Your Loss, Kakashi-sensei! Naruto-kun Has Asked Me To Get This Letter to You Safely!” A firm bow. Kakashi hardly registers the click of his front door closing.

He really is the worst scum of the earth, isn’t he? Naruto hadn’t forgotten him. No, in fact, he respects Kakashi’s privacy so much that he took great care in making sure Tsunade and Shizune wouldn’t open this particular letter looking for a piece of gossip.

Kakashi’s an asshole. How- _How could he think Naruto--wonderful, precious Naruto--would just forget him like that?_ When _Kakashi_ is the one who asked for friendship, for space?

 _Fuck,_ but he hasn’t even opened the letter yet and the envelope is already speckled with water droplets from his tears.

_‘You deserve to be loved, Kakashi, and I will continue to love you even after I am dead. I hope that you received the love I tried to give you even though you didn’t want to. Even though it scared you.’_

_‘Because you have my heart, Kakashi, and it’s gonna be yours for the rest of forever.’_

He wants to scream. Scream, and cry, and _fight_. He wants to stand on top of the Hokage Monument and shout about the unfairness of the world. _How can he just say things like this after he’s gone? It’s not fair! I don’t want this, I don’t NEED THIS,_ **_damn it!_ **

He wants… He wants nothing more than to reverse time, to go back to the last time Naruto was in the village, or the last time he’d crashed in Kakashi’s apartment after a rough mission, or even… even _then_. _That_ night, the night when Kakashi’d realized how much things had _changed_ , because that was _Naruto_ looking at him with longing in his eyes, longing and loneliness and _love, damn it_.

No, he would go back to that night. He would go back and hold on to the blond, hold on tight, spend every possible moment he could with him, drop his walls and _live_ , and _enjoy it_.

Maybe Kakashi doesn’t deserve to be happy, but _Naruto had,_ **_fuck_ ** _._

He had assumed Naruto had moved on. He had assumed, but he’d been _wrong, damn it,_ and _now_ …

He’s a real piece of shit, making an executive decision like that. Maybe he’d been trying to keep himself from ruining that man, but…

But maybe it wasn’t like that. Maybe, with Naruto… Maybe Kakashi could have been saved.

-

Kakashi exists. He wants to resign, more than anything, but he won’t. Can’t. Even if he never imagined himself as Hokage, he knows and loves his village, and even if his heart is shattered, even if his soul is damaged beyond repair, he will do everything in his power to protect the place Naruto had loved so much, the place Naruto had wanted to protect and cherished with every fibre of his being.

Still. He’s tired. He’s tired of being strong.

He can’t go to the memorial to whine at his sensei and his friends, anymore. He tried, once, but then he’d seen Naruto’s name, freshly carved into the marble. He’d stared at it for a moment, and then he was suddenly on his knees, gagging and vomiting the contents of his stomach, though he’s ashamed to admit there wasn’t much to throw up. His appetite was never very large, but now it’s practically nonexistent.

_Dammit, Naruto… Look what you’ve done to me. I never wanted to fall in love, don’t you know that?_

If he hadn’t been so damn _good_ , so fucking pure, and kind, and just-

He sighs, burying himself in another mission report in the hopes of putting his thoughts out of his head, even for a few minutes. Can’t he just go one second without thinking about soft yellow hair, or the depth of those eyes, or the nonsense he used to spew in the early hours just before dawn when they’d be on a mission together, or sprawled on the floor in one of their apartments on the rare occasion that they had time off together?

He really hadn’t done a very good job of putting distance between them, had he?

And yet, Naruto really had done as he asked. He’d given Kakashi enough space to drive him crazy, but he’d _been there_ , warm and steady and _safe_.

And _now_ …

-

“You Are Not Yourself, My Friend. We Can Only Wallow In Our Regrets For So Long Before They Bury Us.”

Kakashi doesn’t bother lifting his head off of his desk to look Gai in the face. He knows his friend is worried, but _fuck_ , he goes to work, he does his job, can’t he just _miss the man?_ Without anybody bothering him about it?

Can’t he just…

Can’t he wish they had more time? Is he not allowed to mourn?

“It Has Been Two Months Since Tsunade-Sama Handed Out the Letters.”

He heaves a sigh, heart beating out an unsteady rhythm against his ribs.

“She Only Handed Out Nine, Kakashi, But Lee Said Something That Confused Me. He Said All Ten Recipients Would Deal in Their Own Ways.”

Suddenly, Gai’s face is directly in front of his, eyes narrowed. He must be crouching on the floor from this level, and it’s mildly concerning when Kakashi thinks about the wheelchair Gai’s supposed to be confined to.

“So, Rival. How Did You Receive A Letter That Tsunade-Sama Didn’t Have?”

Kakashi blinks, worn thin. “He left it in Lee’s care. Tsunade-sama likes gossip, and I like my privacy.”

Gai blinks, like he’s surprised Kakashi even answered him. _Have I gotten that soft?_

“Kakashi. What Could Naruto Have Said That He Wanted to Keep Private? He Is Not The Type.”

Kakashi lets his eyes slide shut, fighting back tears he knows he should no longer be able to shed. _I wish you would drop it, Gai._ But Gai is persistent, and Kakashi doesn’t feel like fighting.

“I love him, Gai.” He flattens his hands on the solid oak and pushes himself up, staring Gai in the face. “I loved him, I told him that we should stay friends, but _he never moved on and NOW HE’S_ **GONE** _!_ ”

The room is silent. Kakashi counts the seconds. Eventually, Gai leans back in his chair, gaze gentle but admonishing. “You should get some rest, Kakashi. You look tired.”

He leaves, and a hysteric laugh escapes Kakashi. He laughs, and laughs until he sobs, breaking apart like the shattered man he knows he’s always been.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Spread out, head west, I sensed something.”
> 
> “You’re not even on duty,” Pakkun grumbles, pawing at his own nose, as if something’s bothering it. It’s pre-dawn, and the pug looks like he’d much rather be asleep.
> 
> “Pakkun, please.”
> 
> He doesn’t think he’s ever seen them run quite that fast before. Maybe it had been the look in his eyes, or the desperation in his voice, but he doesn’t bother questioning it. He follows hot on their trail, ears prickling, waiting to hear the yip that will point him in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is entirely self-indulgent, but i hope the rest of you enjoy it as much as i do!
> 
> uhhhh i'll come back to proofread later, don't know when. this fic has exhausted my emotions, but it was worth it.
> 
> ah, and to my friends whom i've gifted this fic: a little sad, a lot of fluff!!! it's actually a lot longer than i first intended, it takes up 16 pages in google docs. i've lost sleep working on this because i couldn't stop. and, uh, i'm sorry if it's not as pretty as the second chapter. i write angst better than comfort. imo.

Naruto’s been gone for eight months, missing for seven, and declared dead for four when Kakashi feels it. It’s faint, _barely there_ , and he thinks _there’s_ _absolutely no way._

But he _feels_ it. Maybe Kakashi wouldn’t have, if he wasn’t _pack_ , but he _was, IS._

He summons his ninken without realizing it, all of them staring at him as if he’s grown a second head, but Kakashi can’t stop, can’t think, can only _act_.

“Spread out, head west, I sensed something.”

“You’re not even on duty,” Pakkun grumbles, pawing at his own nose, as if something’s bothering it. It’s pre-dawn, and the pug looks like he’d much rather be asleep.

“Pakkun, _please_.”

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen them run quite that fast before. Maybe it had been the look in his eyes, or the desperation in his voice, but he doesn’t bother questioning it. He follows hot on their trail, ears prickling, waiting to hear the yip that will point him in the right direction.

It doesn’t take long to pick it up.

“Boss, it’s--!”

“I know,” he hums, voice thick. “I sensed his chakra, I--”

_He’s alive, he’s alive, I knew-_

_I knew he couldn’t be dead. Not him, anyone but him._

He hits his knees, unconcerned with the puddle of blood that will no doubt force him to toss this particular pair of trousers in the trash as soon as possible, and runs his hands over Naruto’s frame, searching for open wounds, breaks, sprains, _reactions_ . The longer he searches, the more he _finds_ , _what the hell happened, who_ **_hurt you_ ** _?_

Kakashi doesn’t realize he’s crying until something wet falls on the scarred face in his lap, following the curve of his cheek and disappearing into dull blond hair that's caked with blood.

“Damn you,” he whispers, watching the shallow rise and fall of Naruto’s chest, watching his unresponsive face. “You really scared me, you know. The council decided you were dead and everything.” He clears his throat, trying to relieve the lump that’s building up, trying to speak without falling apart. “Don’t you _ever_ ** _fucking_** scare me like that again, do you hear me? I can’t- I _can’t_ -” His voice breaks, his heart tearing itself to shreds. “No, you know what? From here on out, you’re stuck in the village with me. I’m never, ever, _ever_ letting you out of my sight again.”

-

Kakashi doesn’t know how much time passes while he waits, counting the younger man’s breaths and running his fingers through his matted hair. All he knows is that the man he loves is still alive, _he’s still alive_ , and Kakashi’s not going to let a single thing keep them apart ever again. Not the village, not their friends, and _absolutely not his own damned fears_.

All the air leaves him when he feels it, the hesitant touch, and his eyes fly open, drowning in an ocean of blue.

“You look… like shit,” comes his soft, broken voice, “Kakashi.”

Uninterrupted, Kakashi’s tears fall, making tracks through the blood and grime on Naruto’s face. “Fuck you, I thought you were dead.”

Naruto’s working hand tightens around Kakashi’s forearm. “Ah… Does that-” he coughs, and Kakashi absently wipes at the blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth with his thumb, as if the younger man isn’t already covered in his own blood, “-mean you read… my letter?”

In the distance, he can hear several pairs of feet racing toward them, and the sound of his hounds, but Kakashi only has eyes for _him_. “I read your letter.” It bothers him that the blond isn’t blinking, but he thinks maybe Naruto’s doing his best not to pass out again. “Naruto…”

“Hm?”

“I love you,” he whispers. “ _I love you_ , so please stay with me.”

He doesn’t know whether or not to be relieved when Naruto smiles up at him.

-

Kakashi has no idea how Shikamaru manages to keep the whole ordeal quiet, but he doesn’t bother questioning it. He’s hanging on to his sanity by a thread, watching the hours tick by, waiting to hear _anything, any scrap of news_ from the surgeon working to save his- his…

Should he say his lover? His boyfriend? None of the words that come to his mind really _fit_ , though, so he shoves the thought away. It doesn’t really matter what label they apply. Naruto loves him, and he loves Naruto, and that’s all that matters now.

When he and the medics returned to the village, they’d taken the ANBU passages straight to the hospital. Shikamaru had already secured a surgeon and locked down the wing they were currently occupying, so Kakashi reluctantly relinquished his grip on the blond and resigned himself to his fate.

“It’s not really protocol, but Naruto’s a special case, you know? We don’t know what happened to him, and we don’t know if he’s going to be a danger to himself or others, not to mention whether he’s still being pursued. It’s best if we keep his status a secret for now, don’t you think, Hokage-sama?”

To be completely honest, Kakashi knows Shikamaru doesn’t think Naruto’s going to be a danger to anybody. He knows Shikamaru intends to allow Naruto to recover before they reveal that he’s alive and home. Both are very well aware that Naruto’s friends, not to mention a majority of the villagers, will be overjoyed to know he’s back from the dead. And they will want to see him, and they will pester him about what happened. They don’t want that for him.

And Kakashi’s grateful, because Shikamaru has also permitted him to bring his work to the recovery room so that he can stay with Naruto until he’s released.

But Naruto’s still in surgery.

Kakashi had listened to Shikamaru’s thinly veiled threats and cleaned himself up before returning to the hospital, has paced the halls, has stamped more mission reports than he can count, has reviewed what feels like hundreds of new treaties (even though he knows there were only twenty-three). He’s starting to grow uncomfortably impatient. He’d known the extent of Naruto’s injuries, known how badly he’d been hurt, but seriously, _why aren’t they finished yet_?

_Breathe. He was awake, he was responsive, he was talking to me._

“Rokudaime-sama.”

He pivots, meeting the surgeon’s gaze head on.

“He’s stable, the nurse is moving him to a recovery room now. His injuries were worse than we first thought, but we managed to avoid permanent damage to anything other than the right arm and, unfortunately, his throat. We believe he underwent multiple traumas to the neck and throat, though we won’t be sure how extensive they are until he wakes. A lot of the scarring will remain.”

“He was able to speak to me,” Kakashi interjects immediately. “He regained consciousness for a short period of time after I found him and spoke a handful of words, but I could tell he’d received heavy damage.”

“I’m amazed he could speak at all,” the doctor replies just as swiftly. “And when he wakes up, I think it would be best if he avoided speaking at all until we’re sure the damage has healed. He won’t be back on active duty for the rest of the year, considering the circumstances.”

Kakashi can only nod.

“You may go to him, Hokage-sama. Call for somebody immediately if he wakes.”

He gathers his things, well aware that it will be a miracle if Naruto even resurfaces before the week is up. He doesn’t have high expectations about that, but he supposes, after everything, nothing will surprise him anymore. Not when it comes to Naruto.

-

“You still... look like shit.”

The folder slips out of Kakashi’s hand and lands with a _smack_ on the small table beside the oddly comfortable chair where he’s taken up semi-permanent residency. And then Naruto’s words register, Kakashi panics, and a smile finds its way onto Naruto’s face.

_How can you smile when you must be in so much pain?_

“The doctor doesn’t want you to talk,” he mutters dumbly, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Apparently, Kakashi _can_ still be surprised. The younger man has only been out of surgery for roughly twelve hours.

Naruto doesn’t bother hiding his grimace, but he resigns with a nod, giving Kakashi a curious look.

“Ah… You were in surgery for nine hours. You’ve been in recovery for twelve.” He rubs at the back of his neck. “Your right arm is gone again. Somebody tried to rearrange your organs, but they’re all in the correct places again. The doctor is concerned that you’ll have permanent damage to your throat. And I’m supposed to call somebody the minute you’re awake.” He stands as he says so, reaching for the call button at the edge of the bed. Naruto’s hand wraps around his wrist before he can press it.

‘ _Stay,’_ he taps out in Morse Code, and Kakashi beats back a wave of tears with all of his willpower.

He hums, stroking Naruto’s cheek with his empty hand before dropping a kiss to his bruised temple. “You don’t understand. I am _never_ letting you out of my sight.”

The tender look he receives when he straightens up plucks at his heartstrings. Naruto doesn’t let go of his wrist, and Kakashi knows better than to try and pull away, so he wraps his own hand around Naruto’s, running his thumb back and forth over his pulse.

Kakashi can’t even begin to imagine the harm inflicted upon Naruto if he looks this bad despite the protective fox who often heals Naruto the moment he receives a blow. How much damage was caused if even the fox, for all of his strength, was unable to heal him? How many repetitive injuries had he sustained if the fox was unable to keep healing him?

_I’ll kill them._

He meets Naruto’s gaze again when he feels the message being tapped out against his wrist, ignoring the two nurses fluttering around their patient in shocked disarray. Really, if they weren’t ready to handle the patient, they should have given themselves a moment. It’s not like the blond is going anywhere. _‘Thinking too hard,’_ Naruto taps, looking mildly amused.

 _‘I nearly lost you,’_ he replies, and he knows what Naruto is going to say next, so he counters the ‘wouldn’t be the first time’ before it can be executed. ‘ _I couldn’t find you.’_

But underneath Naruto’s amusement is an understanding that rips Kakashi’s strength to shreds. He drops back into the chair, but Naruto still holds on. All Kakashi can do is shift a little closer (not that he has to go far) so that he isn’t uncomfortable.

-

The third time Naruto wakes after Kakashi finds him at the edge of Fire Country’s border, several of his injuries have closed up enough to scab over. He’d eventually crashed after initially regaining consciousness in the hospital, and then proceeded to sleep for five days. Five days that nearly drove Kakashi up a wall with madness.

He doesn’t even realize Naruto’s awake until he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. Movement, because the idiot is attempting to _sit up_.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

Naruto blinks at him owlishly, cheeks flushing red from embarrassment.

Kakashi sags. “Naruto. As much as I would love to tell you you’re allowed to take a trip to the restroom on your own, _you’re hooked up to a catheter for a reason_.”

The blond rolls his eyes, holding out his hand impatiently. Kakashi acquiesces to his request without a second thought.

_‘I’m not trying to go anywhere, I was just trying not to get caught.’_

“Why?”

_‘I like watching you work.’_

Kakashi hums, absently pressing a kiss to the back of Naruto’s hand before he gets up and leaves another against his forehead, propping a spare pillow behind his shoulders so he’s not completely reclined, but not sitting up too far, either.

“Is that better?”

Before Kakashi can step back, Naruto has hooked his arm around Kakashi’s waist and pulled himself up enough to hug him, pressing his forehead into Kakashi’s stomach. And what can he do? He won’t pull away, not when he relishes in this closeness, not when it’s something Naruto so clearly wants, _needs_ , so the Rokudaime holds him, running his fingers through Naruto’s hair, stroking his cheeks, his shoulders, everywhere he can reach.

 _‘Tell me you love me,’_ is tapped out against his hip.

“ _I love you_ ,” he replies immediately, hoarsely, undeterred by the small hitch in his younger lover’s breath. “I love you, so please stay with me.”

Naruto nods against his stomach, attempting to pull Kakashi closer. It takes another minute or so before he’s able to coax the younger man into leaning back, but he presses a light kiss to his lips for his cooperation. Naruto doesn’t even seem to care that he was just kissed through a mask, cheeks flushed, an annoyingly bright smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

And Kakashi loves him.

-

“...allowed you to speak. As your throat and neck healed, it’s likely the use of your voicebox has diminished, Uzumaki-san. I’m sorry to say that your chances of ever speaking again are slim.”

Kakashi truly doesn’t know what to expect after the doctor leaves, so when Naruto turns to him with a small smile, he wonders if the blond has lost his mind. What would a sane person do with the information that they can no longer speak?

_‘I may not have a voice, but that doesn’t mean I can’t speak.’_

_Ah._ Kakashi squeezes his hand lightly, eyes tracing Naruto’s face, his neck, the thick, pink scars mostly hidden under his t-shirt. “Shikamaru plans on making the announcement today. People are getting pretty angry that I’ve been away from the public for so long.” He sighs. “I don’t particularly care, but he says it’s time to share you anyway.”

_‘You’ve had me all to yourself for two months.’_

But as Kakashi studies him, he can only say, “That’s not nearly enough time.” He’s starting to suspect that not even _forever_ could be enough time.

_‘You have me for as long as you want me, Kakashi, but people can’t go on thinking I’m dead when I’m not.’_

_Nor do I want them to._ He sighs. “I know. And just so we’re clear, I want you forever.” He presses a kiss to the back of his hand just before the door slides open and Shikamaru steps inside.

“I summoned our friends here to the hospital,” he says, hands in his pockets. “I’m going to tell them first.” Kakashi’s advisor makes an annoyed face. “None of them know Morse code, so I guess you get to keep Hokage-sama with you for now, but he will have to return to the office soon.”

_‘It’s okay, I’m confined to the village for the next four months anyway, so I’ll make myself a nuisance in the office.’_

Kakashi relays his message without bothering to hide his smile. Why should he pretend he isn’t infinitely pleased and relieved? Why should he act like the idea of Naruto driving Shikamaru and himself both up a wall is a bad thing when two months ago they still believed he was dead?

Even Shikamaru gives the blond a fond look. “I’m just glad they finally let you take a shower,” he remarks, slipping out of the room before Naruto’s pillow can make contact with his back.

_'Kakashi.'_

He meets Naruto's gaze, concerned. It's rare that Naruto addresses him so plainly, and to do so when he knows his friends can't be far…

_'You'll stay with me, right?'_

His breath tries to catch in his throat, but Kakashi doesn't let it stop him from replying without hesitation. "I'm here, Naruto. I'm yours, I'm not going to let anything stop me from being at your side." Kakashi's grip tightens around his hand, though the blond doesn't flinch. "Please understand, I thought I _lost_ you. I _can't_. I can't lose you. Not today, not ever."

This time, it's Naruto who places a light kiss to the back of Kakashi's hand before releasing it, and then spelling out in perfect sign, _'I don't have to communicate in Morse all the time.'_

Kakashi doesn't even get the chance to respond to the fact that Naruto has kept this piece of information a secret to keep Kakashi around before the door slides open once again and Sakura steps into the room with a stack of scrolls in her hands, nose buried into the one she has open on top. "Kakashi-sensei, Shikamaru said you were here, and I haven't seen you literally at all in months. I started to wonder if you hadn't up and disappeared. If it wasn't for Shika-”

The scrolls fall. The door slides open again, and a handful of jounin crowd into the room. Kakashi intends to blend into the woodwork and wait it out, but before he can take a single step, a hand snakes out and grasps at his kimono.

The silence goes on forever, until Shikamaru shoves his way to the front of the group and plants himself facing the others from the opposite side of Naruto’s bed, arms crossed.

“Two months ago, Hokage-sama sensed a familiar chakra signature all the way from the border between Fire and Rain. He and his ninken were able to locate Naruto and immediately informed me that he had been found in critical condition.”

Kakashi hadn’t realized his hand was combing through Naruto’s hair, but he supposes he’s going to be the one speaking for him anyway, so it doesn’t really matter if he can’t keep his hands to himself. “Naruto is unable to use his voice,” he says, to get it out of the way. “Both he and his partner have made a miraculous recovery, but his body just isn’t the same as it was before, though he seems to be taking it a lot better than you.”

“Naruto-kun! I Am So Very Pleased That You Have Youthfully Returned To Us! Please Forgive Us For Our Shock!”

 _‘Tell him thank you for me, please.’_ Naruto shoots Kakashi a small smile, and then Lee a much larger one.

“Lee-kun, Naruto would like to thank you. And so would I.”

Lee’s eyes widen and then he squeals, bouncing forward to pull the two of them into an awkward but not unwelcome embrace. “MAY THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH CONTINUE TO BLOOM FOR YOU BOTH! I MUST FIND GAI-SENSEI! I AM VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, NARUTO-KUN!”

Lee leaps out the window, but his enthusiasm has broken the ice enough for Sakura and Sai both to step forward, firing off questions that Naruto doesn’t bother trying to answer, but listens to nonetheless.

“Maa,” he finds himself interrupting, “are you trying to give me a headache, Sakura-chan?”

She shakes a fist at him. “You’ve been here the whole time! Why didn’t you tell me? I could have done something to help!”

Kakashi heaves a sigh.

-

Naruto is pleased to see his friends, he really, really is! It’s just, it’s a lot of excitement, and he’s gotten pretty used to the quiet. Kakashi talks to him, of course he does! But Kakashi’s voice isn’t loud, or sharp, or annoying, and Naruto knows he keeps his tone soft for both of their sakes.

He’s already _tired_ , which is annoying, but to be expected after spending three months in captivity and another two cooped up in the hospital to heal.

Not to mention he doesn’t have the heart to even attempt to _respond_ to any of them without using Kakashi as a medium.

Naruto tightens his hold on the Hokage’s kimono, filling with a new bout of affection for the man. He doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of Kakashi’s voice telling him--telling _Naruto_ \--that he loves him.

And sure, he’s had to sit through several sessions with a close-mouthed Yamanaka in order to prove that he’s not mentally unstable, and is, in fact, fully prepared to be back out in the world, but Kakashi had refused to leave his side even during _those._

Personally, Naruto has been through enough traumas that being held for a few months while some violent losers attempt to steal his partner from him is kind of… underwhelming? Come on, he’s faced down some _crazy_ dudes! A few guys with ugly faces and even uglier personalities, who don’t actually know what they’re doing, aren’t going to really be able to beat him. Not forever, at least.

And okay, these guys got lucky because they had a bloodline limit, he can admit that. But Naruto escaped, didn’t he?

Still, he listens to his friends talk at him, taking a good look at each of them. And he _sees_ things, things that weren’t there before. Like Hinata, fingers intertwined with Neji’s while they welcome him back. _About time._ And Ino, tracking Sakura with her eyes whenever the opportunity presents itself. He eyes Kiba and Choji and Shikamaru while a thought bugs him.

_I have to tell Iruka before Shikamaru announces anything to the rest of the village!_

_‘Iruka,’_ he taps against Kakashi’s hip, though he nods at Hinata’s gentle question about if he’s allowed to eat ramen yet.

“Ah,” Kakashi answers softly. “I thought the same thing. Shikamaru, have you spoken to Iruka?”

On his other side, Shikamaru simply nods. “I’m kicking everybody out of here in a little bit, and I thought you might like to stretch your legs. You’ll have to use a _henge_ so you don’t cause an uproar, though, Naruto. I told him I would be sending somebody by and that he should keep his afternoon free.”

He nods, a little stiff, and tries to decide if Kakashi would be able to go with him.

“I’m sorry, Naruto, but I really do need him back at the office this afternoon.”

Honestly, he’s not even surprised that Shikamaru knows what he’s thinking without him needing to bring it up.

After everybody finally says their goodbyes for the day, the door slides open one more time and _Gaara_ takes a hesitant step inside. And this time, Naruto practically _throws_ himself out of bed to hug his friend, not even caring that the Kazekage looks positively shocked.

“Ah, Kazekage-sama,” Kakashi says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to fully explain why I was asking you to come. The majority of the village doesn’t know, yet.”

“Naruto?”

He takes a small step back before Gaara can even attempt to return the hug, signing rapidly even though it’s unlikely anybody in the room can keep up. Naruto’s _relieved_ . The last time he’d been in Suna, he’d left a letter with Gaara, a letter that was only to be opened if Naruto met his untimely death. He’d meant every word in it, of course, but Gaara’s a bigger softy on the inside than even _Kakashi_ , so Naruto had hoped to see him soon.

He doesn’t remember ever telling Kakashi, of course, but Kakashi hadn’t needed him to, clearly.

“Yes, my siblings are fine. No, I’m not mad at you. I’m grateful and pleased that you’re alive and at home. Yes, Sasuke has been staying in Suna for a few months, but he accompanied me back to Konoha and is waiting outside to see why I was summoned.”

Shikamaru slouches, looking put upon. “I’ll fetch him, Naruto. Hokage-sama, I’ll be expecting you by this afternoon, and _so help me_ , if you’re late, I _will_ send Gai-sensei after you.”

Not two minutes later, while the two Kage in the room continue to make small talk, the door slams open and Naruto is nearly knocked to the ground by the force in which Sasuke slams into him, so it takes him a moment to realize that he’s being hugged so hard that his scars are pulled taut. He ignores the discomfort and taps out a greeting in Morse against his friend’s spine.

“Are you okay?”

_‘Yes.’_

“Is there somebody I can kill?”

Silent laughter shakes him, but Sasuke only holds on tighter. _‘I already did.’_

A scoff. “You’re no fun.” He doesn’t let go for another minute or so, but his eyes are suspiciously red when he finally steps back. Naruto pretends he doesn’t notice, scratching at his cheek sheepishly.

Gaara leaves Kakashi’s side, squeezing Naruto’s shoulder lightly. “I will return when things calm back down. Don’t disappear again.”

 _‘Don’t worry,’_ he signs, shooting the Hokage a smirk, _‘I don’t think Kakashi is going to let me out of the village for quite a while. If ever.’_

“Damn straight,” the man adds, though his nose is buried in one of Ero-Sennin’s books.

_Idiot._

-

Naruto stands on Iruka’s doorstep, heart in his ruined throat. What is he supposed to say? He hasn’t had to do any of the actual explaining up until now, thank _Kami_ for Kakashi and Shikamaru. And yet, Iruka’s the hardest one.

His _henge_ is perfect, as usual, but…

_That might work._

He flares his chakra _just so_. He doesn’t bother knocking, because he hears the sudden, panicked scramble inside Iruka’s house, the rush to get to the door and fervid dismantling of the locks.

They stare at each other.

 _‘May I come in, Iruka-sensei?’_ Naruto finally signs, half-tempted to pray.

Iruka’s face falls and he steps back. The moment the door shuts, Naruto releases his transformation and finds himself wrapped in one of Iruka’s bone-crushing, soul-healing hugs.

“Tell me everything.”

So he does. He starts at the beginning, giving Iruka the full story in excruciating detail just as he had for Kakashi when he was finally able to keep his eyes open for more than an hour at a time. They both cry, they both laugh, and Naruto feels lighter than he has since _before_ the whole ordeal by the time he leaves Iruka’s that night.

He doesn’t return to the hospital, relieved to finally be free of the place. He could go to Hokage Tower if he wanted, but Naruto would much rather find a soft surface and go to _sleep_.

The blond slips through Kakashi’s window soundlessly, despite knowing the Hokage isn’t home. It’s not late, but he’s had a particularly long day, and maybe… maybe Kakashi won’t mind if Naruto just… takes a nap on his sofa. Right?

He hums, content with sinking into the cushions and curling himself around one of the throw pillows. He’s out before he registers the rest of Kakashi’s pack settling around him protectively. He doesn’t dream.

-

A part of Kakashi hopes that Naruto will be in his apartment by the time he leaves the office. He’s not sure--Naruto and Iruka are close, and it would make sense if his lover stayed the night at the other man’s house. Honestly, it’s very possible Naruto stopped by his own apartment and went to bed.

But he hopes his blond is in _Kakashi’s_ apartment, because at least he’ll be with their _pack_ and their pack is _safe_.

He is not disappointed when he finally gets home. There Naruto is, curled up on the couch with the hounds watching over him. Kakashi can breathe.

 _You could have gone to the bed, though, Naruto. Instead, you’ll make this old man carry you._ He tosses his robe over the back of the couch and slips his arms under the younger man’s frame, uncomfortable with the amount of weight he’s lost because of… the incident.

A gentle sigh escapes his lover’s mouth, slim fingers clutching at Kakashi’s sleeve.

Naruto...is beautiful.

Kakashi strips him of his layers, leaving him in his shorts and t-shirt, and then drags himself away to get ready for bed before joining the man he loves under the covers, pressing his nose into that soft yellow hair and breathing in the scent of summer rain and clean laundry and sunlight.

“I love you,” he whispers against the side of Naruto’s head, “so please stay with me.”

-

It’s far too early in the morning when he wakes up. Fortunately, his hounds don't bother themselves with barking if somebody’s knocking on his door. Unfortunately, _some people_ don’t know how to _stay away_ during the ungodly hours right before dawn.

Still he doesn’t get up, just pulls the soft warmth of his companion closer and-- _oh_. Overwhelmed, a trembling sigh escapes him.

 _‘I love you,’_ is gently tapped out against his cheek. Shortly followed by, _‘I think Bushier Brows-sensei may force his way in whether you like it or not.’_

Unfortunately, Naruto is correct, but Kakashi can’t bring himself to care. So what if Gai suddenly remembers that he already has a key to Kakashi’s apartment? The man is his best friend, and something tells Kakashi that the whole reason he’s making a fuss about being let in in the first place is so that nobody’s caught off guard.

However, it’s _far_ too early, and Kakashi really wouldn’t mind going back to sleep sometime soon, so it might be best if they get this over with _now_. He sighs, pushing himself up with one hand, though not before pulling Naruto back into his arms with a promising kiss.

Gai blinks at him when he yanks the door open and turns away, fist still raised mid-knock. “RIVAL!”

“Gai,” he rumbles, already headed back to his bedroom. His front door clicks shut and Gai follows.

Naruto waves at him from the bed, pleased as punch.

“NARUTO-KUN! How Are You Feeling?”

 _‘Much better, and very glad to be out of the hospital,’_ the blond signs, unbothered when Kakashi drops face-first onto the mattress, one arm draped over his lap.

With Naruto’s hand no longer in his sight, Kakashi doesn’t know what he might be saying, but he finds he doesn’t mind. If it’s important enough, Gai will either comment, or Naruto will fill him in later.

“Naruto.” This time, Gai’s a little further into the room, and his tone belies the fact that he’s not putting up a front anymore. “I am truly relieved that you are alive and well. Do not let Kakashi pretend. He was hardly functioning even before the council declared your death.”

If Kakashi had the energy, he might have tried to silence his friend. Or, maybe he wouldn’t have. He’d had plenty of time to reconsider what he should have done differently, especially when it comes to Naruto. Hiding the fact that he’d nearly torn himself to shreds when he thought Naruto was lost forever is no better than pretending he would be better off if they weren’t _together_. How can he face the man he loves every day if he’s not honest about how important Naruto is to him?

“I see,” comes Gai’s voice again. Kakashi kind of regrets not keeping at least one eye one the blond’s hand. “Thank you, Naruto. I’ll see myself out.”

Kakashi doesn’t move until the front door clicks shut, and even then, he only rolls himself further into Naruto’s lap. His lover smiles down at him, hand coming to rest against Kakashi’s neck.

_‘I want to wake up with you every day.’_

Speechless, he can only nod. It’s not even a question. There are no more doubts in his mind--anything Naruto asks for, if it’s within his power, Kakashi will give it to him. And if it isn’t, he’ll figure out who can.

_‘And I’d really like to kiss you again.’_

_Oh._

Well, that can absolutely be arranged.

_‘And you should get some more sleep before Shika demands your return.’_

He doesn’t whine, but it’s a near thing. “Kiss first, then sleep.”

Naruto rolls his eyes, smiling all the while, and then leans forward to press an upside down kiss to his mouth. Kakashi only has a moment to decide the blond tastes like toothpaste and sleep, and something distinct that Kakashi doesn’t have a word for, before he realizes that his own face is not, in fact, covered.

But the thought leaves just as soon as it barges in. It’s just another wall that he doesn’t need. Not with Naruto. Not anymore.

-

“Kakashi.” The voice scrapes against itself, like the speaker’s throat is full of broken glass. But who would be climbing onto his lap at this hour--

_Naruto…?_

_‘I finished my mission early.’_ _Mission_ , that's right! Naruto had been out of the village on a mission. He doesn’t go out often. The specialists advised that he stick to light duty, and even Naruto had agreed that maybe it would be best if he kept to courier missions and diplomatic meetings. Still, he’s not supposed to be back for another few days at the earliest. Kakashi can’t bring himself to care, especially with the man he loves in his lap, saying his _name_ like that--

Kakashi sits up straighter on the sofa, suddenly awake and alert, sliding his arms around his husband’s waist. “You-”

_‘It’s not much. I’ve been practicing. I think the nerves aren’t receiving the proper messages from my brain, and the scar tissue prevents it from sounding very good.’_

A year. It’s been a year since Naruto was found, eight months since they moved in together, and four since their marriage. Kakashi has never been happier than he has been in the last four months. Except for now.

“I never thought I would hear your voice again.”

A delicate kiss is placed against his throat, above his pulse. _‘It’s not the same.’_

“I don’t care, it’s still _yours_. Still you.” He leans back, meeting Naruto’s gaze. His husband’s eyes shine in the dark room, the only light coming from the bathroom down the hall. Suddenly, his face is a lot closer, foreheads knocking together, and the rest of him is a lot closer, too.

A whisper against his mouth, “I love you,” followed by a deep, electrifying kiss. “I’ll stay with you.”

_I love you, so please stay with me._


End file.
